Short Rounds

" . . . Ten Clowns"

By 1793 James Gregory (1753-1821) had attained considerable success as a physician in his native Scotland, having for many years been a member of the medical faculty of the University of Edinburgh, and from 1790 was head of the university’s School of Medicine, and author of Conspectus medicinae theoreticae (1788), a widely-used medical textbook, as well as a recognized authority on English usage and a philosopher of some note. He was also a patriot, and decided to answer the call when Britain went to war with Revolutionary France. 

Gregory was commissioned a captain in a militia battalion associated with the Royal Edinburgh Volunteers.

Set on doing his bit to the best of his abilities, Gregory was very attentive to his duties, studied the manuals carefully, and even engaged the services of the regimental sergeant-major to provide extra instruction.

But Captain Gregory proved a poor soldier, one account noting that “He never . . .  attained eminence in his military capacity.” Sergeant Major Gould of the Royal Edinburgh Volunteers said of him, "he might be a good physician, but he was a very awkward soldier."   

The officer volunteers were drilled privately in what is now Edinburgh’s Adelphi Theatre. Reportedly, during one drill, while the men were marching across the stage, a trap-door opened as Captain Gregory stepped on it, and he plunged into the darkness below, whereupon one of his comrades quipped, “Exit Gregory’s Ghost!” At drill Gregory would often interrupt the proceedings to ask questions. This so frustrated the sergeant major that he once snapped, “Damn it, sir, you are here to obey orders, and not to ask reasons: there is nothing in the King's orders about reasons!” 

So exasperated did Sergeant Major Gould become with Gregory that he once shouted, “. . . sir, I would rather drill ten clowns than one philosopher.”

Gregory’s military service was short and undistinguished. But his medical and literary careers flourished for many years, and he even attained the presidency of the Royal College of Physicians of Edinburgh.

As for the Royal Edinburgh Volunteers, it later became the 80^th Regiment of Foot, and continues today after many amalgamations as part of the 3^rd Battalion, Mercian Regiment (Staffords).

Counting the Beans: Military Resources of the Rival Alliances in 1914

Treatments of the political situation leading up to the outbreak of the Great War usually note that Germany was allied with both Austria-Hungary and Italy, forming the “Triple Alliance.” Opposed to this alliance were the “Entente Powers,” France, Russia, and Britain, of which the first two were closely allied, while the third was less clearly committed to concerted military action.

For decades the German General Staff understood that the Triple Alliance was inferior in military forces. They calculated that opposing them would be the Entente, which would be joined by Belgium and the Netherlands, scheduled to be attacked by Germany, as well as Serbia and Montenegro, in Austria-Hungary’s sights. They also concluded that Germany, Austria-Hungary and Italy would probably be joined by Romania, and the Bulgarians, both ruled by German princes, with the latter also blood enemies of the Serbs, and possibly the Turks, who were increasingly hostile toward Britain, hoped to recover some of their loses in the Balkan Wars, and had a long-standing hostility against Russia.

Counting the beans, that is the available number of divisions upon mobilization, the German General Staff calculated that Entente Powers would probably be able to field a little over 230 infantry divisions by mid-1914, while Germany and her likely allies would have about ten divisions more, before further mobilization took place. 

Of course in 1914, the alignment of forces didn’t quite work out as the Germans calculated. While the final version of the German war plan omitted an invasion of The Netherlands, thus reducing the number of divisions against them by 4, Italy and Romania both refused to support an Austro-German offensive war. The terms of their alliances with Germany did not obligate them in an offensive war, and, in the case of Italy, provided a specific loophole permitting the country to opt out if standing with Germany meant going to war with Britain. Both countries had been drifting out of Germany’s orbit for some time. Moreover, neither Turkey nor Bulgaria jumped immediately into the war on Germany’s side. This changed the ratio of divisions between the Entente powers and what quickly became known as the Central Powers from 233-to-242, a modest superiority for the latter, to 229-to-138, a serious inferiority (c. 40 percent). Although the Turks and Bulgars entered the war by the end of 1914, Italy joined the Entente in 1915 and Romania in 1916, followed by the wholly unanticipated participation of the United States in 1917.

Thus, the German General Staff’s “bean counting” failed to consider the possibility of changing political and strategic concerns among their presumptive allies, and was a major cause of the disaster of 1914-1918. 

"Come as a Friend."

Following his campaign to liberate the Greek cities of Asia from the Persians in 396-394 B.C., King Agesilaus II of Sparta (r. 400-360 B.C.) decided to return home by the route that the Persians had used nearly a century earlier during their attempt to conquer Greece. So he took his army across the Hellespont, and marched into Thrace. As he approached each of the many little Thracian kingdoms, he dispatched envoys to ask whether he should cross their country as a friend or as an enemy. Most of the kinglets accepted his friendship, but the Trallians demanded an enormous “gift” to allow him passage.

Agesilaus promptly told them to come get their gifts, and marched into their country. Finding the Trallians formed for battle, he engaged then and inflicted a crushing defeat. The rest of the Thracians quickly caught on, and his passage was not further interrupted.

When Agesilaus approached the borders of Macedonia, he once again dispatched an envoy, asking King Archelaus II (r. 396-393 B.C.) whether he whether he would receive the Spartans as friends or as enemies.

Surprisingly, King Archelaus replied, “I will consider the matter.”

To this, Agesilaus said, “Then do think about it, and we meanwhile will commence our march."

Archelaus promptly replied, “Come as a friend.”