Murphy's Law: January 27, 2002

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: Murphy's Laws Of War- While many have seen these classic laws (e.g., "friendly fire isn't"), a new set recently appeared in Armor Magazine. A few highlights:

@ The fuel truck will run out of fuel just before reaching your position; you will run out of fuel before it can return.

@ Attempts to extract a mired vehicle will result in at least one more vehicle being stuck.

@ The primary function of an operations order is to avoid any blame falling on the staff who wrote the order.

@ The heater in your vehicle will break in October; the repair part will arrive in April.

@ The only time your vehicle will have a flat fire or a thrown track is at night, in the rain, when you are the last vehicle in the column returning to the garrison.

@ Shaking trees a mile away mean helicopters are hunting you.

@ The engineers that followed you around all week will be called away just before you come upon a washed out bridge.

@ When no better target presents itself, aim at the muzzle flashes. The big ones are dangerous; the little ones are just infantry. The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering the anti-tank team that is setting up its missile launchers.

@ Close Air Support is much safer if its Far Air Support.

@ If "on the way" is followed by "aw shit" you are not going to get promoted.

@ The command "Gunner, Sabot, Sniper" is not a good use of ammunition.

@ It is rude to mention to the chemical detection team that their Fox vehicle looks a lot like the BTRs that the enemy is using.--Stephen V Cole


 


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