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Staff officers say the strangest things..... (UNCLASSIFIED) Part V

Discussion Board on this Military Joke

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

"They also serve, who sit and surf the NIPR (the Department of Defense's private internet)."   CPT (CENTCOM)

"I hear so much about Ft. Bragg. Where is it?"
 

"It's in the western part of southeastern North Carolina."    LCDR and CPT (EUCOM)

"I've become the master of nodding my head and acting
 like I give a sh!t, and then instantly forgetting what the hell a person was saying the moment they walk away."   Flag-level Executive Assistant

"Mark my words, this internet thing is gonna catch on
 someday."   LTC (EUCOM)

"You're not a loser. You're just not my kind of
 winner..."   GS-14 (OSD)

"He who strives for the minimum rarely attains it."
   GS-12 (DOS)

"I'm tired of waiting on somebody who I know is just
 going to ignore me once they arrive." Lt Col (EUCOM),  while waiting to start a brief for a visiting VIP

"If I'd had more time, I'da written a shorter
 brief..."   Derived from the writings of Mark Twain
 

 "Vision without funding is hallucination."   Maj (EUCOM)

"I work at EUCOM. I know bullsh!t when I see it."
   LTC (EUCOM) in a game of office poker

"You only know as much as you don't know."
   GO (EUCOM)

"I'm just livin' the dream..."
   EUCOM staffer response to the question, "How's it going?" or, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just ranting...I have nothing useful to say."
   LTC (EUCOM)

"Why would an enemy want to bomb this place and end
 all the confusion?"   GS-14 (EUCOM)

"How soon before we can give this guy a medal, a good
 OER, and send him on his way?" GS-12 (EUCOM) referring to his boss

"Other than the fact that there's no beer, an early
 curfew and women that wear face coverings for a reason, Kabul is really a wonderful place to visit." LTC (CENTCOM)

"It was seen, visually."
   LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing

"Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a
 staff..."
"This should be a short conversation."
LtCol to Lt Col (EUCOM)

"If you want to take down a country, gimme a call.
  We'll get it done." GO/FO   (EUCOM) to a gathering of US Amba$$adors

"Hello gentlemen. Are we in today or are you just
 ignoring my request?"   GS-15 (DSCA) in an email to EUCOM staffers

"After seeing the way this place works, I bet that
 Mickey Mouse wears a EUCOM watch." Maj (EUCOM)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII



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