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StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor
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Performance Reviews: How To Interpret
Performance Reviews: How To Interpret
Some of you might like to know what supervisors are really
saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations
they keeps cranking out.
- AVERAGE:
Not too bright.
- EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED:
Has committed no major blunders to date.
- ACTIVE SOCIALLY:
Drinks heavily.
- ZEALOUS ATTITUDE:
Opinionated.
- CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH:
Still one step ahead of the law.
- UNLIMITED POTENTIAL:
Will stick with us until retirement.
- QUICK THINKING:
Offers plausible excuses for errors.
- TAKES PRIDE IN WORK:
Conceited.
- TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS:
Buys drinks for superiors.
- INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION:
Knows more than superiors.
- STERN DISCIPLINARIAN:
A real jerk.
- TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS:
Knows when to keep mouth shut.
- APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC:
Finds someone else to do the job.
- A KEEN ANALYST:
Thoroughly confused.
- NOT A DESK PERSON:
Did not go to university.
- EXPRESSES SELF WELL:
Can string two sentences together.
- SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB:
Miserable home life.
- CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL:
Scared.
- METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL:
A nitpicker.
- DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP:
Has a loud voice.
- JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND:
Lucky.
- MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE:
A snob.
- KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR:
Knows lots of dirty jokes.
- STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES:
Stubborn.
- GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE:
A coward.
- SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE:
Stupid.
- OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION:
Turns in work on time.
- IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL:
Wanted by no-one else.
- ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS:
An office gossip.
- REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT:
Lazy and hard-headed.
- HARD WORKER:
Usually does it the hard way.
- ENJOYS JOB:
Needs more to do.
- HAPPY:
Paid too much.
- WELL ORGANIZED:
Needs more to do.
- COMPETENT:
Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
- CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN:
Pain in the arse.
- WILL GO FAR:
Related to management.
- SHOULD GO FAR:
Please.
- USES TIME EFFECTIVELY:
Clock watcher.
- VERY CREATIVE:
Finds 5 reasons to do anything except original work.
- USES RESOURCES WELL:
Delegates everything.
- DESERVES PROMOTION:
(or anything else - just get him or her away from me!).
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