StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

Return to Humor Index

Murphy's Laws of Combat

Murphy's Laws of Combat

  • You are not Superman. �

  • Recoilless rifles aren't.

  • Suppressive fire won't.

  • If it's stupid, but works, it's not stupid.

  • Don't look conspicuous. It draws fire.

  • Never draw fire. It makes everyone around you nervous.

  • When in doubt, empty the magazine.

  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

  • Always keep in mind that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

  • If your attack is going well, it's an ambush.

  • If you can't remember . . . the claymore is probably pointed at you. �

  • All five second grenade fuses are three seconds.

  • Try to look unimportant. The enemy may be low on ammo. �

  • If you are forward of your position the artillery will be short. �

  • The enemy diversion you're ignoring is the main attack.

  • The easy way is always mined.

  • The important things are always simple. �

  • The simple things are always hard.

  • When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

  • Incoming fire has the right of way.

  • No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

  • No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

  • Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.

  • Friendly fire isn't.

  • Anything you can do can get you shot ... including doing nothing.�

  • Make it too tough for the enemy to get in ... and you can't get out.

  • Tracers work both ways.

  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

  • Radios will fail as soon as you need something desperately.

  • When both sides are convinced they are about to lose . . . they are both right.

  • Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

  • All weather close support doesn't work in bad weather. �

  • The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.

  • The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you're standing.

  • The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.

  • REMFs are everywhere.

  • The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other . . .� and have no time to help the infantry. �

  • Remembr, your weapnos and equipment were made by the lowest bidder

  • Precision bombing is normally accurate within plus/minus one mile.

  • Cluster bombing from B-52s and C-130s is very, very accurate.� They always hit the ground.

  • Murphy was an 11 Bush �

  • Perfect plans aren't.

  • The easy way generally gets you killed.

  • The side with the fanciest uniforms losses.

  • Armored vehicles are bullet magnets; a moving foxhole that attracts attention.

  • If you are short of everything except enemy, you're in combat.

  • No plan survives the first few seconds of combat.

  • Ammo is cheap; your life isn't.

  • It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.

  • If you can't see the enemy, they still may be able to see you.

  • Final protective fire doesn't. �

  • You can win without fighting, but it's a lot tougher to do. And the enemy may not cooperate.

© 1998 - 2024 All rights Reserved.,, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of
Privacy Policy