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Anciet Wars as an RTS

Discussion Board on this Military Joke



If Ancient Wars had been an online Real Time Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

**T3H-Pharaoh has joined the game.**

**[ChZ]Hektor has joined the game.**

**yL]Aj4x has joined the game.**

**[ChZ]Paris has joined the game.**

**Agam3mnon has joined the game.**

**Pryam43 has joined the game.**

**Ohdi$ius has joined the game.**

[ChZ]Hektor: Why hello Paris, how do you do on this fine day?

[ChZ]Paris: whaddup hommie!

yL]Aj4x: omFg dude, Pryam43 was such a winey b1tch last game al he did waz cry that menalowis got his army past the norhtern wal!

Pryam43: here we go again...

Agam3mnon: stop your b1tching Ajax, and put allied chat on.

yL]Aj4x: im glad now I can focking pwn this noob again!11!!one!!

**Agam3mnon has taken the southern beach defenses**

Pryam43: OMFG hector that is yor focking spot n00b learn how to play for fock sakes!!!!!11

[ChZ]Hektor: Why don't you learn how to spell before you insult an individual?

Pryam43: focky u this isnt goddamn enlgish clas, n00b

**yL]Aj4x has lost his commander**

yL]Aj4x: WTF!!!!111!!!!! Oddysius u a$$goblin frigin comunitcate with us newb and thanks alot for frigin pulling back your archers out of firing rang so my frigin regulars get focking massacred as soon as they frigin get 14 feet ont the beech n00b.

**Tekton[n1L] has joined the game**

Tekton[n1L]: hey everyone.

[T](Allies)[ChZ]Hektor: Hey man, whats up?

[G](Allies)yL]Aj4x: seriously focker, start frigin talking or img unan reeport you to the makers of the game and have you banned for grieving the team and wasting our frigin time

[T](Allies)Tekton[n1L]: hey i see we got problems at the beach?

[T](Allies)[ChZ]Hektor:Yeah man, they anchored their boats with the catapults and are launching sieges on the southern side, Paris came outta Troy and set up defense in your spot cause we didn't know when someone would relieve the north.

yL]Aj4x: wht is the frigin team messed up agian, last game we didnt have an Agamemnon and now this game we dont have a menalowis and you guys focking got 1 xtra guy and fockin Odysius wont even frigin say a word and its only me and Agamemnon

[T](Allies)Tekton[n1L]: k np i'll bring my guys back and defend the fallback position

Agam3mnon: ajax can you just play the goddamn game and stop yur b1tchin?

[T](Allies)[ChZ]Hektor: Affirmative.

[ChK]Paris: can you stfu homey, plz?

yL]Aj4x: you better not be talking to be sh1tsta!n.

[T](Allies)Tekton[n1L]: yo pryam can u send backup to paris, hes getting pummeled uptop.

Pryam43: No, fock you tekton last time i did that they frigin rushed the northern wall and the middle gate and i cudint get bak to my base quick enuff

[T](Allies)Tekton[n1L]:

[ChK]Paris: and what if I am?

yL]Aj4x: ill come 2 ur house and stan u int eh focking face a$$goblin

[ChK]Paris: bring it on, homie u'll get shot if u step ur azz in my hood, homie

yL]Aj4x: ur prolly just frigin a little frigin b1tch livin in hsi moms basement and ur parents spoil u rotten loser.

------------------------------------------------

~Real Life~

**yL]Aj4x's Mom has joined the channel**

yL]Aj4x's Mom: Hunny, your pancakes are ready

yL]Aj4x: Frig mom u made me lose my 3 of my frign catapults to hektor just frig off til im frign done, GODDDAMNIT!!!111

yL]Aj4x's Mom: Okay hunny, but don't wait to long they will dry up.

yL]Aj4x: Frig mom leave me alone, yur not trying to conquer troy now are you, n00b.

-----------------------------------------------

**4 minutes later...**

**Ohdi$ius has capture the northern wall for the Greeks**

yL]Aj4x: OMFG!!! DUDE WTH<! DUde i had more guys there then u

Pryam43: stfu ajax ive had it with ur garbage u loser

yL]Aj4x: ur the only loser here a$$goblin

</stats Pryam43>

<Pryam's record is:>

<Wins:29 Losses:53>

yL]Aj4x: u r a focking noob pryam, ur 29-53 like wth stats are those frign noob

**Achilles[44] has joined the game**

Pryam43: that's from gettin teamed up with j3rk offs like u.

yL]Aj4x: stfu b4 i go j3rk off ur mom!!

[ChZ]Paris: ....

yL]Aj4x: omfg achilles where the hell were u the intire frigin game dude

Achilles[44]: Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB Troy IS NEWB

Pryam43: stfu achilles u suck dude u come in after ur team takes the beach, u suck

Achilles[44]: if i suck howcome u let them take the beach?

Pryam43: if u didnt notice a$$jockey in the fog of war u can c that it is Paris's camp set up by the wall not mine dumb4$$

[T](Allies)[ChZ]Hektor: Paris, these guys are so immature, I'm about to leave.

[T](Allies)[ChZ]Paris: yeah man I know.

Pryam43: Dude stfu hektor, ur the only immature nooby

[ChZ]Paris: I've had it with ur bs Pryam just stfu dude seriously

Achilles[44]: why dont u stfu paris, u had the army at the walla nd u let them take it faggot.

[ChZ]Paris: dude, its not my fault they had a head start cuz we started without tekton

Tekton[n1L]: Screw this.

**Tekton[n1L] has left the game**

Pryam43: he sux3d anyways dumb4ss n0n-1337 n00b.

Achilles[44]: funny u mention that Pryam i dont see u doing jack shit.

Pryam43: im defending the king, in the movie he never went past the frigin walls except for when he mourned the death of his son to Achilles, remember that part?

[ChZ]Paris: Yeah, it sucked.

Pryam43: Stfu it was the great3st m0vee evr mad3 dumb4s$

**[ChZ]Paris was eliminated**

Achilles[44]: OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11!OWN3D!!!eleven!11! Dude u suck LOLerskates

Pryam43: AHAHHAHAhahahAHAHAHAHhahaAH!!!! N00b PARIS, see Achilles thats why i fuckn lose cause of shit like that

**[ChZ]Paris has left the game**

Achilles[44]: get better then newbie

Pryam43: WTF league do u play in? Im in RTSGT and my team is in 12th best ranked in wor1d n00b.

Achilles[44]: Which team is that and how did you get in newb, jerk sum1 off? go hang yourself.

Pryam43: fuk u dood, what league do u belong to the RTSNL, Real-Time Strategy Newb League

Achilles[44]: No, I'm actually in the RTSGT and my real handle is OBJ^TrojanKondums

Pryam43: Ur not in OBJ u newb

yL]Aj4x: u suck dude, neither of u r gud enuff to be in leagues like me, im gawdly i just didnt join a league this year cause i travel all over the world cause im in the military as a navy seal

[ChZ]Hektor: .... Military... Navy Seal??

yL]Aj4x: yeah man, www.goarmy.com

[ChZ]Hektor: .... right... dude... ur prolly like 5 years old

yL]Aj4x: foock u man i can cut ur neck like frigin rambo dude, stfu now

Achilles[44]: rofl u suck ajax

yL]Aj4x: ya i suck ur mom sideways

Achilles[44]: right newb...

** [ChZ]Hektor has been eliminated **

Ohdi$ius: LoL, ni ahʓwʓʓʓ chowigʓʓ u maha-dunet

Achilles[44]: go lurn english and get ur green-card foreigner and take a driving test so we know ur not all retarded behind the wheel... this isn't like driving camel-wagons over here

Ohdi$ius: LoL, bruz naheff calin-frapoy ׅbruitpat <(-_X<)Q(o_O)9 KURBYKURBY!!!

yL]Aj4x: go back to wherever ur from loser!111!!!!

[ChZ]Hektor: k, obviously this game was a complete waste of time cause your all morons.

yL]Aj4x: pz newbie

Achilles[44]: L8er fagbag

**[ChZ]Hektor has left the game**

Pryam43: OMFG, nobody left on my fuckn teem, this isnt fair and now I get another loss cause of n00bs ARGGG FUCK DAMNIT SHIT BALLS ARGG

Achilles[44]: Leave fag, free win

Pryam43: like if maters u r on a flipping smurf account nubby, LOLS

yL]Aj4x: well im not so leave u imputant mortal and let my gawdly influence conquer ur crappy civilization

** Pryam43 has left the game**

** Troy has been conquered **

Achilles[44]: WTF, why isn't the game ending we just won?!

yL]Aj4x: theres no1 left wtf, is it a glitch I bet u 1 of those faglurs was hacking ARGG SO NON-UB3RL337!!! WTF IM REPORTING THEM ALL AND LETTING THE COMPANY GET DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS BU11SH!T

T3H-Pharaoh: Forgot about me dipshit, say goodbye to Greece.

**Greece have been conquered**

Achilles[44]: Holy fuck u douche-bag, I thought the gamename said TROJAN WAR ONLY!!! COME QUICK!

yL]Aj4x: Omg this is what happens when u have a fucking pug game like this, they fook up the FRIGIN Race WINDOW!!!

T3H-Pharaoh: Egypt 1, Greacy Biotches 0!!!

Achilles[44]: Oh well, im on a smurf handle anyway, pz nubs

** Achilles[44] has left the game **

yL]Aj4x: foocking BULLSH1T OMG THIS SUCKS IM REPORTING U FOR h4x1ng AND THEN U GET BANNED A$$GOBLIN

Ohdi$ious: ^_^)a T_T GGKTHX

** Ohdi$ius has left the game **

yL]Aj4x: OMFG THIS SUCKS NEBWS!!

** yL]Aj4x has left the game **

** Egypt was victorious!! **

**T3H-Pharaoh has left the game**





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