One of the values of propriety in Muslim society is that a man who wants to visit a married woman should have her husband’s permission if the husband is in town. Abu Hurayrah quotes the Prophet (peace be upon him) as saying: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast (voluntarily) when her husband is present without his permission, nor is it permissible for her to admit a visitor into his home without his permission.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Another version reported by Muslim reads, “Nor is it permissible for her to admit a visitor into her husband’s home when he is present without his permission.”

Commenting on this Hadith, Ibn Hajar discusses the condition of the husband’s presence added in the second part as related by Muslim. He says that the husband’s absence or his being away does not mean that a married woman can admit an individual man into his home. On the contrary, the prohibition is even clearer as we have authentic Hadiths prohibiting a man visiting a woman when her husband is away, unless he is accompanied by others. The only way to understand this added condition is that when a husband is around, it is easy for the woman to obtain his permission first, while this is difficult when he is away.

The requirement of obtaining a husband’s permission when he is around is further evidenced by the report that “Amr ibn Al-Aas went to Ali ibn Abi Talib’s home for some business, but he did not find Ali at home. He left, then came again, two or three times, without finding him. When Ali came over, he said to Amr: ‘As you have some business with her, why did you not enter?’ Amr said: ‘We have been prohibited from entering women’s homes without their husbands’ permission.’”

In the case when the husband is away, the permission is not necessary, as indicated by a Hadith we have quoted earlier: “As from today, let not a man enter the home of a woman whose husband is absent, unless accompanied by one or two men.”

Islamic propriety and decency also requires that long and repeated meetings between men and women should be avoided, as happens when frequent visits of relatives and friends last several hours, or when men and women meet all day long at the workplace, even though each of them is attending to their jobs.

Although these conditions are not included in any statement of the Qur’an or the Hadith, they should be observed. The point here is that when such repeated and long meetings become frequent, it becomes difficult to observe Islamic manners such as looking decently at the other person and maintaining seriousness in conversation and propriety of movement. These are required of both men and women when they meet. Therefore, to implement the rule of closing doors leading to what is prohibited, it is advisable to refrain from such long and repeated meetings, unless the nature of one’s job requires such frequent meetings, either for discussion or cooperation in completing certain tasks. In this case, there is no harm in meeting frequently, provided that people maintain their guard. Needless to say, people who are preoccupied with their jobs have no time for distractions, which in turn helps them to maintain propriety.

All this comes within the overall requirement that Muslims, men and women, should steer away from all indecency, committed publicly or privately. God says in the Qur’an: “Do not commit any shameful deed, whether open or secret.” (6: 151) He also says: “Abstain from all sin, be it open or secret. Those who commit sins will be requited for what they have committed.” (6: 120)

We have so far explained the standard of manners that both men and women should observe. A special requirement applied only to the Prophet’s wives when they met men. Such a meeting should be from behind a screen. God says in the Qur’an: “When you ask the Prophet’s wives for something, do so from behind a screen.” (33: 53) This screening applied only to the Prophet’s wives. It merits a special discussion which we may publish later, God willing.

In addition, certain standards are required of women in particular. The first is that they should always wear clothes that fit with the standards of decency. God says in the Qur’an: “Tell believing women... not to display their charms except what may ordinarily appear thereof. Let them draw their head-coverings over their bosoms.” (24: 31) “Prophet! Say to your wives, daughters and all believing women that they should draw over themselves some of their outer garments.” (33: 59) “Do not display your charms as they used to display them in the old days of pagan ignorance.” (33: 33)

A number of Hadiths speak about decency when women go out.

Umm Atiyyah mentions that she asked the Prophet when he ordered women to attend the Eid prayer: “Is a woman excused from attending if she has no outer garment to wear? He said: “Let her friend lend her an outer garment.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Fatimah bint Qays quotes the Prophet as saying to her: “I hate that your head covering should drop, or that your dress should be lifted to expose your legs and thus people would see of you what you would dislike them to see.”