|Apparently, Kim Dong has his own reality TV show.
CNN - It is a safe bet that television viewers in North Korea will not hear much about upcoming talks in Beijing aimed at curbing the secretive nation's nuclear ambitions.
That's because in his reclusive regime, prime time fare features only one character -- leader Kim Jong Il.
For those lucky enough to have access to a television, on a recent evening part six of "The Legend of Blossoming Love for On The Spot Guidance" was screening.
In this episode the mysterious Kim, who is otherwise known as the "Great General," the "Dear Leader," and the "Peerless Patriot," showed he was a man of the people.
"From east to west, north to south, the Great General travels the country," the announcer intones.
"You warm us like the sun. Have you ever served a Great Leader like this?"
The god-like Kim is also seen providing what the North Koreans call "on the spot guidance" to the armed forces.
The message is clear enough -- the one-million-man army is Kim's main power base.
In a country where most people go hungry, the Dear Leader -- with a fondness for fast cars and fine dining -- is seen giving advice on nutrition and inspecting mountains of food destined for the troops.
According to the announcer, Kim tells the troops "there's nothing I wouldn't spare for my soldiers. Behind every great general is a great army."
But Kim's wise words are not limited just to food. For the female soldier, the Great General provides a karaoke machine and tips on how to use it.
'We're so lucky," the announcer says "to be loved by him."
There's also some "on the spot guidance" in the fashion department from the man who is rarely ever photographed wearing anything but his grey-green suit.
"All these uniforms," the announcer declares, "were made with the love of the Great Leader," who wants to be sure the colors match and the jackets are warm enough.
And because Kim wants to keep his soldiers healthy, there's some guidance about how to brush your teeth.
For their loyalty, there are free TV sets all around. The ecstatic troops dance in the snow, no doubt eager to tune in for part seven.
This guy is such a joke!