|Hi. The following is a scene from a military thriller I'm writing. This particular one describes a feint assault by three PLAAF squadrons on India's North East region - intended to intimidate the Indians, and as a response to a series of terror attacks which the Chinese tie down to Indian governmental agencies.
I have a bunch of ex military friends on other forums (Indian and Chinese) helping me out with the technical aspects, but I'd like any pointers from you good people on how to improve the vermilisitude or realism of the narration - in particular to the communications and protocols. I'm not so keen on making it sound exactly like how the Indians would conduct it, but I'm very interested in making this sound real.
It was just past five in the evening, Indian Standard Time, when the initial signs of Chinese air activity were picked up by the Indian Air Force’s mobile observation posts along the McMahon Line that represented the border between the Indian state of Arunachal Pradesh and Tibet. The Mobile Observation Posts (MOPs) which consisted of two man teams armed with nothing more than night vision binoculars, infrared sensors, an aircraft identification booklet and a VHF radio remained India’s first and most critical line of air defence even in the 21st century, and even as the IAF rapidly attempted to modernize itself.
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Thanks in advance for any tips!