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Staff officers say the strangest things..... (UNCLASSIFIED) Part IV

Discussion Board on this Military Joke

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

"I just realized that this War on Terror might take a little longer than we thought, so I am developing a new system of hanging charts on walls to solve our problem and win the war." LTC (EUCOM) after a
review of long range Counter Terrorism (CT) plans

"Much work remains to be done before we can announce
 our total failure to make any progress."  

"None of us is as dumb as all of us." Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)

"Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New
 Guinea is thinking of offering two platoons: one of Infantry (headhunters) and one of engineers (hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill.    We've got no issues with that, but State is being anal about it." LTC (JS) on OIF coalition-building

"It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it."

"I'm gonna have to leave work early today and probably
 stay home tomorrow. I'm fighting off a cold and I want to beat it before I start my leave in two days." MAJ (EUCOM)

"Creating smoking holes gives our lives meaning and
 enhances our manliness."   LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference

"Interagency is a process, not a noun."
   Anonymous (EUCOM)

"Eventually, we have to 'make nice' with the French,
 although, since I'm new in my job, I have every expectation that I'll be contradicted." DOS (Department of State) rep at a Counter Terrorism Conference

"Everyone should have an equal chance, but not
 everyone is equal." 

"I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my butt."

"You can get drunk enough to do most anything, but you
 have to realize going in that there are some things that, once you sober up and realize what you have done, will lead you to either grab a 12-gauge or
stay drunk for the rest of your life."

"Once you accept that a dog is a dog, you can't get
 upset when it barks." Lt Col (USSOCOM), excerpts

"That guy just won't take 'yes' for an answer."

"Let's just call Lessons Learned what they really are: institutionalized
 scab picking."

 "I can describe what it feels like being a Staff Officer in two words: distilled pain." CDR (NAVEUR)

"When all else fails, simply revel in the absurdity of
 it all." LCDR (CENTCOM)

"Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed
 to sheer stupidity."   LTC (CENTCOM)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

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