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Pilot Talking Rules

Discussion Board on this Military Joke

The only three things a wingman should ever say are:

  • Two's up.
  • Lead, you're on fire.
  • I'll take the fat chick.

And in a multi-place aircraft, there are only three things the  copilot should ever say:

  • Nice landing, Sir.
  • I'll buy the first round.
  • I'll take the fat chick.

A new copilot on a bomber was told to only say these three things and to otherwise keep my mouth shut and not touch anything:

  • Clear on the right. 
  • Outer (marker) on the double (indicator) 
  • I'll eat the chicken. (Crew meals consisted of one steak and one chicken to avoid possible food poisoning of the cockpit crew).

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