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Children's Television Workshop Closes Investigation of Bert/Osama Relationship

Washington – Today the Children’s Television Workshop and the Jim Henson Company announced they have closed their investigation of the relationship of Bert and Osama Bin Laden. The investigation has found no solid evidence that a relation ever existed between Bert and Osama. The investigation was prompted when Bert appeared in a picture beside the infamous terrorist (see related story). Bert has been suspended with pay since the picture came to light.

“Yes it definitely was Bert‘s image,” Bert’s lawyer Myron Hanpupit said. “Bert though has never met Mr. Osama. I think this is all a serious misunderstanding. We believe that one of Mr. Osama’s associates had the picture manufactured since Mr. Osama is a fan of Bert’s television show and we have been told this is how he was learning English. Basically, its guilt by association.”

“Also, the fact that Bert had been considering converting to Islam may have added fuel to the fire,” stated Mr. Hanpupit.

At this time Bert remains a member of the small cult group Christians Searching for a Better Way which sponsors the annual “Up with Puppets” show.

When pressed to responded to rumors that Bert had met with Iraqi intelligence agents Mr. Hanpupit refused to comment.

Bert will resume work on Monday of next week.

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