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Subject:
The Australian as seen by an Englishman
8486cofe
4/15/2008 2:37:18 PM
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I found this in the Naval Historical Review March 2008. Its by Mr J.D.V. Crew, Gunner (T) RN (from Quickmatch Booklet. 1944)
reprinted from NHR March 1981
It was in 1925 that I first met Royal Australian Naval personnel. They had come over to collect a couple of submarines and it was in the Submarine Depot Fort Blockhouse, Gosport, Hants, that the encounter occurred. Yes encounter it was indeed since today 20 years later, the impression created then remains ineradicably in the memory. Resemblant of March wind, they entered our Submarine Service like a lion and left like a lamb. That they removed the customary conventional cobwebs en route I'm not denying.
We did't like them. We disapproved of their manners, their airs and graces. With their blab and baloney they savoured of those so renowned for "bull". We were disappointed. We had thought they were as we were, that they were of us, that having the same kith and kin they would be akin. and they were not. We didn't like their affluence either, and being stupidly human, we registered that as another of their faults.
No, they were not popular. They were not liked by messmates or instructors. Their popularity with the ladies only served to diminish it with us, somewhat naturally.
Indicative of what deemed their acrimonious attitude towards our way of life, are the following anecdotes.
Like any coal-burning concern, the Submarine Depot had to be coaled at infrequent intervals. From time immemorial it was the creed that no-one was excused, and the said creed was accepted without murmurs. For a quater of a century it had been good enough for hundreds, no thousands, of RN personnel, yet it wasn't good enough for a bunch of back-bush boomeranging Aussies. OH, NO! They didn't see why they should hump coal around. They had come from the other side of the world for training on submarines, not coal heaving. Their government was paying for this submarine education, such as it was, and since no submarines were coal-burners, or likely to be, they didn't reckon any coal carrying consituted constructional submarine education. So, en masse they complained, and to our disgust, got away with it. They were excuse coaling. Them! A crowd of interlopers excused coaling when no-one had ever been excused ever since the navy had taken over the depot from the Royal Engineers way back in the dim past. Blimey, things had come to a pretty pass when a handful of Diggers ruled the roost. Pity they didn't live up to their names, and dig a bit of coal.
The fact that "Clear lower deck for payment" produced twice the number of wage collectors as "Clear lower deck for coaling" produced coal carriers, was entirely beside the point. Well we didn't see it anyway, so it must have been.
I next encountered this crowd of revolutionaries in the flotilla based at Portland. Admittedly the Vulcan was almost as efficient a parent as a cuckoo, agreed that the mess decks were so crowded that no Board of Trade, Sanitary or RSPCA Inspector would have ever sanctioned such conditions. But and its a very big but, it had done us and we didn't ask the Aussies to upset the cart.
So, when they produced their sea lawyer, we, like the Queen, were not amused. The impertinence of it! Them, coming over here and picking holes in our methods! Why, not one of them has been at sea long enough to know the laws even, let alone criticise them.
However their lawyer, in complaining to the Powers That Be, understoood that each man a number of inches at the mess table should have, and which each man had not. He further understood that hammocks should be slung and not laided on tables, stools or decks. He explained that it was difficult to sling three, or even two hammocks from one pair of hooks.
Beneficient Authority concurred that such uncongenial conditions must cease to exist. Arrangements were made forthwith to remove grounds of complaint. Small tables and stools seating four at most, and some only two, were made and placed in all the gangways on the mess decks, thus giving every man his allowance of inches at the table. Additional hammock hooks were fitted so that all could sling.
Of course it was entirely the Aussie's fault that while every man had now had somewere to sit, no-one had anywhere to walk, that though no-one was without a billet to sling, we emulated that line of a comic song which says, "When father turns we all turn".
No, the mess deck was alright, it did us until they started complaining, and now look at the mess we're in.
When the coal carrying question was again to the fore, we were very pleased that the Local Authority viewed the Australian arguement in a different light.
He agreed that they were here for instruction, and as such, coaling couldn't be classed. But he imagined that they preferred their food cooked, hot water for shaving, not cold, and he couldn't conceive the Commonwealth Government would like its people waited on. So they coaled the ship and we were glad more than somewhat.
Bourne as "additional for training" in the submarines in the flotilla, we had no chance to forget. We wouldn't have minded so much if they'd only cleaned up after themselves, but the popular rejoinder was "we're here for the training not the cleaning".
They had some system peculiar and foreign to us , whereby they accumulated long leave to be taken at their own convenience. With the advent of seasonal War Patrol, as one man they requested to proceed onlong leave. That was not really suprising, since a ten to fourteen day patrol strictly under war conditions in an "H" class submarine, even in peacetime, had considerably less attraction than a similiar period in the Union Jack Club.
The ruling authority recalled to the minds of these long leave request-men the occasions on which they had, with great pains, drawn attention to the fact that they had been sent half way across the world for training in submarines, and not for anything else. With Solomon-like wisdom and lemon-like acidity, he commented, "An agreement exists between your Government and mine to give you a submarine education. Your Government is paying for that education. The finest form of education, the best type of experience we can offer you, is about to take place. I refer to War Patrol. To permit you to miss this Patrol, the best training we can offer, would be an injustice to your Government, which I am not prepared to enact. Requests not granted".
In justice to all concerned, it must be explained that they could have had their leave before the Patrol, but deliberately conserved it with the object of avoiding that unpleasantness.
The night before the flotilla sailed for this much discussed Patrol, this exercise under war conditions, all the Aussies went ashore, as many of the watch aboard obtaining subs as could. Leave expired at midnight because the submarines were proceeding to sea at hourly intervals from 0200.
Not a single Aussie returned on board until the next morning, after all the submarines had sailed.
We were not amused. We didn't think it clever. Such obviously organised disloyalty we considered not cricket. We rejoiced to think that they would be put in their place, that such flagrant disobedience and disloyalty would result in 14 days, maybe 28, or even 56 days detention.
It subsequently transpired that no major disciplinary action was permissable without the connivance of the Commonwealth Naval Board via Australia House. And when during the ensuring months we learned that no action was taken, that the blighters 'got away with it, well we were no fonder of them.
to be continued.....
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