|
|
|
Subject:
Rise of the Cave-Dweller
5/8/2005 9:55:52 PM
|
I would like to believe myself to be relatively culturally aware person, but
the mind of the Taliban is a bit beyond my comprehension. We are in the
midst of the spring offensive here in Afghanistan. This means that it has
warmed up enough for the cave-dwellers to crawl back out of their holes,
knock the mud off their rusty AKs and continue the Jihad against the
infidels who persist in committing great crimes against Islam like providing
medical treatment, distributing medical supplies, building schools,
evacuating flooded villages and distributing humanitarian aid.
Apparently the way this works is the senior cave-dweller (determined to be
senior by the Darwin School of Management) rounds up anyone he can find
whose Jihad spirit hasn't been completely suffocated by USAID food and
medical supplies, or anyone he can intimidate at the point of his rusty AK.
He then waits for a good moonlit night and takes his reluctant holy warriors
up some goat-trail in the mountains along the Pakistan border, and digs some
ancient Soviet era rockets out of the hole they've been rusting away in
since the last time he was chased out of the mountains. These rockets are
then skulked into some location where the general concensus is that they
have a pretty decent chance of hitting something important or at least
noticeable. Then leading from the rear with a cheap radio, the senior
cave-dweller has the recruits fire the rockets off some high tech launch
system like a pile of rocks or a jerry rigged mass of angle iron.
This is where the wheels fall of the Cave-dwellers plan. Since they've
shlepped 5 or 6 of these 200 pound rockets all up and down the Hindu-kush,
the senior cave dweller wants to make sure they fire them all. It takes a
good 2 minutes to set up each rocket and they can only fire one at a time.
It only takes 20 seconds for a US ballistic radar to pick-up the incoming
round, determine its point of origin, and feed this data to the artillery
battery and attack aviation.
About the time the Taliban Youth are trying to light the fuse on their 2nd
or 3rd rocket which typically has the accuracy of a water pistol in a wind
storm, a crew of 13 Bravos are ramming 155mm rounds into their howitzers,
and APUs are being fired on Apaches and Blackhawks.
Since this has already been on Fox news, I guess I can write about how this
worked out for them the other night.
About 1:30 P.M. Dublin Pub time (6:00 P.M. local time) we were going about
our daily business when we heard the tell-tale "Pop" and "Whoosh" of an
incoming rocket's booster engine kicking in followed by an explosion in the
distance. There is a scramble as everyone reaches for their IBA and helmets
then heads for the nearest bunker. Within seconds, everyone was is in the
heavy concrete structures adjusting their helmets, testing communications,
getting as comfortable as possible, and listening for more "Pops". I
recorded the initial rocket at 13:34. Craig pulled the crossword puzzle he
had saved from a Stars and Stripes out of his notebook and we got to work
waiting.
At 13:39, we heard another "Pop" and "Whoosh" followed by an explosion even further distant. Right on schedule, my radio came to life with "Net Call,
Net Call. The next rounds you hear will be outgoing."
It was into dusk now and even though we're a few hundred yards away from the artillery battery, out the doorway of the bunker I could see the trees of
the olive grove illuminate with a flash and a few seconds later the ground
shook from the report of the massive Fox Battery howitzer firing an
adjusting round in the general direction of Pakistan (of course when you're
in Salerno, 270 degrees of the compass point to Pakistan). Somewhere in the
midst of this, we had heard Sabre's Apaches roar over the FOB in the same
direction and it occurred to me that I had seen and heard A-10's overhead
not 1/2 hour before as well. It was shaping up to be a bad night for the
Cave-dwellers.
At 13:43, we heard another "Pop" and as we strained to hear the whoosh, I
saw the olive grove light up in a succession of flashes and the ground shook
as Fox Battery fired for effect. 24 rounds arced towards the rocket launch
point, each capable of wreaking devastation on everything withing a 75 meter
radius of where it lands. Craig and I paused our quest to find an 8 letter
word for "Formal Meeting" long enough to smile and nod our heads at each
other. Having both come up in the artillery, we have exciting memories from
the gun line.
A few minutes later, the ground shook again as 24 more |
| |
|
|
|
