StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor
More Osama bin Laden Jokes
Osama Bin Laden seeks out a fortune teller, since he knows there is a
price on his head.
The fortune teller says, "You will die on a major US holiday."
Bin Laden says, "Which one?!"
She replies, "Doesn't matter. Whatever day you die, it's gonna be a major US holiday."
Osama's last words: "Man, I just got my iphone 4, too! How did they find me?"
Bin Laden got his 72 virgins, all male.
Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee. Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other 18th-century American revolutionaries. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams, "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies: "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
A Navy SEAL & Usama Bin Laden walk into a bar.
A Navy SEAL walks out of a bar.
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